– Guilt, Physical Abuse and Fears.
Mr. S is 23 year old, who lives in a joint family. His father is more concerned about the business and his mother is very strict. She continuously interferes, does his comparison with other kids, very dominating and extremely physical abusive. He had been beaten lots of times by his mother with all kind of items available in the house like sleepers, hockey sticks, etc.
As far as he can remember, he has seen his parents always fighting.
He is religious because he has a fear that if he don’t go to religious place like gurudawara then he will be punished. Obviously, this thought has been implanted in his mind by his parents.
He suffers with anxiety, mood swings, depression and above all FEARS.
He failed in 9th standard and then shifted his school to another school, then to college and finally left the engineering in the final year. So he did not complete his graduation.
He sleeps very less, probably an hour or two in night.
So the main problems that he is facing right now are confusion, dissatisfaction, guilt of failure in education, fear of mother, fear of business, fear of failure, can’t say no, cannot express himself and fear of multiple object like darkness, wooden boxes….. and above all the guilt of childhood sexual Encounters.
I took him deep into meditation to the main events of his life.
Trip to china: He saw his trip to China a few years back and felt very good about it. I asked him why he is feeling good and he replied “There is no interference. I am free, I can eat anything I want, I can eat non-veg, anytime. I can do anything I like. It feels like freedom.”
Failure in 9th standard: I asked him to go back in time to the time when he failed in 9th standard. He saw himself in the class where his teacher was calling him and told him that he got zero marks. Teacher said that this boy is fool. He felt that teacher should not have done that humiliation of him in front of class. I asked him to switch his perspective and see what his teacher was thinking. “My teacher only did that so that I study harder next time. I took this humiliation in a negative manner.”
Same pattern: “I am tying my turban. I am feeling anger as I don’t like wearing turban. I get late because I cannot tie it properly. I feel very uncomfortable. My classmates and others in school teases me for tying this turban. But I have to follow our religion and so I have to wear it. My father is helping me out. My mother is very strict. She is very religious and she is forcing me to tie a turban. I am very upset and angry at her“. So I asked him to switch his perspective and see why his mother is like this.
“My mother’s father is beating my mother and her sister. He is very strict and he takes both the sisters to Gurudwara Harmandir Sahib every day. He made them religious and so my mother is following the same pattern till now”. This understanding gave him the clarity that his mother was just doing what she had been through her whole life. I asked him that if he is going to do the same with his kids and he said “NO! I will break the chain. I will be a good father”.
Childhood Sexual Encounters: He saw himself at the age of around 9 years when he was with another person of nearly same age at his house in the bathroom. They were trying to kiss each other when his mother caught him. She beat him up for this and it remained as a wound in his memory.
Further such encounters happened around 5 to 6 times more in his coming years. Some happened at school some happened at home and some happened at his relatives places. But the common thing was that all of these encounters were with mutual consent of both the partners.
He was carrying the guilt of these Encounters till now. So I took him to each event and tried to make him understand that these are the things of the past when he was just a child without any real understanding. All encounters were with the mutual consent of both partners involved. They were based on impulses and thus there is no need to feel any guilt now.
One of such encounter was with his very close relative, his family member. She was probably double of his age. The event went smoothly but after the encounter, the lady informed his mother about what has happened and pointed all the blame on him. Obviously he was scolded and was beaten up and was humiliated for this event. I asked him to go to that event. When he was seeing that event, I ask him to switch perspective from the point of that person who did all this to him. I asked him to understand what she was thinking and it came out that she was taking revenge from him as he had been previously involved with one of her close relative.
So then we tried to find the reason for WHY all this has happened in his life?
We went through magical door and another scene appeared. He started explaining
“There is a big demon in front of me. The demon is dark in color and is wearing very few clothes. He is very strong and is laughing mercilessly at me. Demon is saying that I am under his control”.
I ask him to request the demon to go away. But the demon refused to go. Demon said “I will not leave you, I will keep on controlling you”.
“Alright”, I said to him, “then let’s try something else. Create a shield of light around you and command the universe that all the negative entities should remain outside of this shield. Now they cannot come inside. Now imagine a cord between you and this demon and cut this cord.”
As soon as the cord was cut the demon started to disappear. Soon demon vanished and the boy felt a great sense of relief.
Then some divine entities(Lord Ganesha and Lord Shiva) appeared in the scene. I asked them if they have any message for us. They said “You have done a good job by freeing him from this negative energy”. They gave him their blessings and told him to stay happy and enjoy his life.
It seems that he became free from the negative energies that were holding him for so long.
We all have events in our life that are sometimes not very pleasant. They leave a great deal of impact on our mental and emotional health. Sometimes we carry these emotions across lifetimes.
After this session, I asked my Guru ji, Yogi Buddhadeva, about what was the significance of that Demon who appeared during the session. Guru ji explained that the Demon signified a “Demonic personality trait” in this boy. And as we commanded the demon to leave, so the boy is now free from this “Demonic personality trait”.
May God Bless him.
By – Yogi Jnana Param